The other night while Eric was at class, I was reading through some older posts on here and ran across this post that I had written almost a year ago...
It reminded me of the joy that can be found during the more "challenging" days of life. For instance, let's take last Monday. Ellie and I took lunch to Eric at school for his b'day. She was really fussy and crying a lot. This really isn't like her, she is a pretty happy baby who only cries when there is an obvious need. So, I was getting really annoyed by it all, I mean, how could Ellie cry away the birthday lunch... So, we got things together, made it home, and off to a nap she went. I needed one too. So, I layed down and locked Harvey (our bark-a-lots dog) in the room with me so he wouldn't wake her up by barking (you know, at the bushes blowing or the old man who walks by five times a day...)
So, you know how hard it is to take naps during your child's nap. You almost dread falling asleep because you know as soon as you do they will wake up and you will end up more tired than you were to start with (you know, like a little "teaser" nap.) Well, as I was lying there, I heard the mail truck hauling down the street so I jumped up to grab Harvey because I knew that he would have something to say about it. Yes, staying at home has led me to know my dog way more than I ever would have hoped... So, as I did, of course, I tipped over a huge cup of coffee on to my night stand, books, journal, white carpet, you get the gist. Oh, let the pity party begin. (I just wanted a little rest and instead I am sopping up coffee with our white bath towels (how smart was that) ) And then what?? Cries. (Ellie, not me :)
So, I let her cry it out (which I don't do very often) with hopes that she'll go back to sleep while I finish cleaning up the bedside Coffee spill of '11. Well, it gets kind of clean, and the cries are only getting louder. So I get her out of bed, and rock her. She falls asleep and I just get to hold her for an hour or so (I know, some of y'all are freaking out about this lack of sleep discipline that I am exhibiting...) and this is actually a sweet little blessing in the otherwise not so sweet afternoon. You know, now that she is almost 1 and not a baby baby anymore, I have really tried, let me say it again, tried to stop stressing out about doing things "by the books" or "by so and so's opinions" etc. because I really want to cherish her. So, I held her while she napped.
Well, she woke up, and mother daughter bonding bliss was over. I went to go put her in the living room, when, hmmm I thought, Why is my front door wide open, and where is my dog?
So, I run outside, with my baby on my hip, did I mention she was wearing just a sweet little diaper, in January, am I sounding like a country song yet? To see my lovely dog (with a track record of running away) with no collar on about half a mile down the road. Somehow, I called his name, he came sprinting right into the house. Later, Eric told Harvey he was glad he came back, because it would have been pretty sad to have the little guy run away on his birthday...
All of this to say, as I was cleaning up the remains of the spill, I found a little note card with this written on it (sometimes I write quotes I like from books I'm reading and tuck them around the house for days like this one...)
"I needed to accept days like this- my child's neediness, the myriad of mindless tasks, and even my own occasional discomfort as part of my partnering, with my husband, toward our mutual goal of building a godly heritage... Two conflicted drives were present in my heart: my commitment to motherhood versus my lurking desire to have life my own way... I began to see my child's care and nurture as God's best will for my life during this season as a mother."
Can I get an amen? This sums it up for me right now. This is my prayer.
It is from the book The Mission of Motherhood (a must read for all you moms!) For those who are riding in the same boat as me right now, let it encourage you!
And on a different note real quick....
|Little bit is a bit past 11 months and here she is! Taking it easy...|
|This is what I saw when I went outside Sunday morning. So pretty!|